Positively Funny: Stand-up Comedy infused with a dose of Positive Psychology

So what is positive psychology anyway? Well, the scholarly definition is, it's the scientific study of what enables individuals and communities to flourish and thrive, focusing on positive attributes and strengths to increase mental well-being. It's not therapy, although some of its techniques can be used very successfully in therapy. Positive psychology consists of techniques, methods, and practices to improve your mental well-being.

The best way to describe it may be an analogy to physical health. You go to the doctor when something's wrong. You have a broken leg, appendicitis, or a disease.

The doctor sets your broken bones, removes your appendix, or cures your disease, and pretty soon, you're back to normal. Normal, but you're no better than where you started. Doctors rarely improve you.

They may tell you to eat better or exercise more, but they don't emphasize that, because the American health care model is about fixing problems. If you want to get healthier, you would see a personal trainer or a nutritionist. Positive psychology is the personal trainer or nutritionist for your mental well-being.

There are techniques that help you thrive, improve your attitude, and increase your happiness. For example, expressing gratitude. When you express gratitude, it's not only the recipient who feels better.

Studies show that the giver of gratitude actually benefits more than the recipient. So here's a story. In Santa Monica, there's a nice running path along the beach where I used to run.

One day, part of it was closed as they were resurfacing it. On my way back, I stopped to thank the crew. I said "To you this may just be a job pouring concrete, but to me, it's making a safer, more enjoyable running path. Thank you."

I'd like to think that at least one of them didn't think I was crazy.

One summer during middle school, I went to basketball camp.

I didn't love basketball, but I'd refused every other camp, so that's where I ended up. I wasn't the worst kid in camp. That was Richie, a round kid who shot foul shots underhanded.

I was the second worst, and I was okay with that, because what I loved was baseball, not basketball. I wasn't great at baseball either, but this is a story about basketball camp. Camp went okay, and though I couldn't rebound and I missed easy layups, I was a really good foul shooter, which is a great skill to have, except nobody fouls the kid who can't make an easy layup.

Underhand Richie was actually also a pretty good foul shooter. Now, he's a thin marathon runner, but he probably still sucks at basketball. Nobody calls him Underhand Richie anymore, but they should, because he's a sneaky lawyer.

I realized a few months ago that it's probably no fun at all coaching kids who aren't good at something you're good at, and the basketball coach was a college star at the time. But I never felt talked down to at camp. I felt like he wanted me to improve, so earlier this year, I tracked him down. I sent him a letter, on paper because I couldn't find his email address, and I wrote a letter of gratitude, thanking him for treating me equally and explaining that while I was bad at basketball and a lot of other sports, in college, I joined the rowing team.

I excelled at rowing, became a national team champion, and later, I also made the national dragon boat racing team, which is a different sport. He wrote back expressing gratitude for my letter and credited his parents for teaching him to treat people how he'd want to be treated. So, two people made happier by an expression of gratitude.

So, I ask you this question, to whom can you reach out to express gratitude? Give it a try. It doesn't have to be a letter on paper. An email, a text, a phone call, a note on top of a box of chocolate. All will do.

Optimism is a big part of positive psychology. Optimistic people are happier and do better in life. Optimism is also contagious.

Unfortunately, so is pessimism. I'm going to tell you two stories, or rather, it's the same story, but done two different ways with two different outcomes. You have a bad day at work and a bad commute home.

You walk in the door and nobody greets you. Of course not, because you're a grouch. Your dog doesn't care.

He approaches you with a leash in his mouth, and you think, why did nobody walk Pusgetti? Yeah, that's your dog's name. You didn't name it, but you did make the mistake of letting your four-year-old choose the name, and now that your child is six and can pronounce spaghetti correctly, he still insists the dog is named Pusgetti. You grumpily take the dog for a walk, and you return grouchily to your family.

Your son isn't in a bad mood. You ask him how his day went, and he says, bad. His team and gym class lost the soccer game.

The next morning, he tells you he doesn't want to go to school because it's Show and Tell, and Jimmy always beats him at Show and Tell. It's a great discussion to have, that school isn't a competition, and if he did his best, that's a success, and if he didn't, well, don't dwell on the past. Try harder next time.

It's a great lesson, but it took 10 minutes, and now you're late for work. Your boss yells at you, and you make a mistake that costs the company $11,000. So now your whole team is mad at you, and you get home grumpy again.

Or you get home... You pause in the driveway, and you take a deep breath. Yeah, work sucked, but you don't have to love your job. That's why they have to pay you to do it.

You do it to support your family, whom you love more than anything else, and now you get to spend time with them. Pusgetti greets you at the door, and you think, I also love my dog, and I get to walk him, and maybe afterwards we can play catch in the backyard. You ask your son how school was, and he said, it sucked.

They lost in gym class. You ask how he did, and he says, he scored a goal off Jimmy's leg, and you tell him you're proud of him for scoring a goal, and maybe tomorrow, it'll be the winning goal, and that cheers him up. The next morning, he says he doesn't want to go to school because Jimmy's bringing a frog to Show and Tell, and you laugh inside and think, that's not going to end well.

You tell him that we have a dog, and any dog is better than a frog, but not to tell Jimmy. Let him think his frog is important, because you want to be a good friend to Jimmy, not bring him down, and because you get to work in a good mood, you figure out an improvement that saves your company $11,000, and you're a hero for a day. So, what have we learned? Either there's only two kids in his class, or everyone there is named Jimmy....

Don't let a four-year-old name your dog... and everything at your job is in intervals of $11,000. And we've also learned that expressing gratitude and having a positive, cheerful, optimistic attitude is a real benefit to you and to the people around you.

Techniques in positive psychology are called positive interventions. They're activities or changes in your life that help you improve.

I don't love that term because even though it has the word Positive in it, when I hear Intervention, I think of everyone I know gathered in my living room to tell me to stop drinking. I prefer the term Positive Internal Action.

Here's one I invented:
I call it Magic Time. In high school health class, they showed us an old movie called Days of Wine and Roses about an alcoholic. They did it to keep us from drinking.

Spoiler alert: it didn't work. In the movie, Jack Lemmon plays an alcoholic, and before his first drink of the day, he holds up his drink and says "Magic time." After making that movie, at all his movie shoots, before the first scene of the day, Jack Lemmon would say "Magic time."

And yeah, not with a drink in his hand. I'm applying this in my life, not in movies. I'm not an actor, and not before I go on stage as a stand-up comedian. I think that would sound egotistical.

No, I do it right when I wake up. Before I get out of bed, I think about all the good things I hope to do or accomplish that day.

It makes me get out of bed with a positive attitude, and as my feet hit the floor, I say, out loud, "Magic time." It's a good way to start the day. Give it a try.

Feel free to let me know if this video has been helpful, because, well, you know, I also accept boxes of chocolate with notes of gratitude on top. And be sure to come see my one-man comedy show "Positively Funny." I'm launching it mid-2025 and bringing it to theaters nationwide.

It's also available for your corporate event, charity fundraiser, or house of worship. Visit Brain Champagne dot com slash positively funny. I'm Shaun Eli.

Thank you very much.