Springfield Clean Corporate Stand-up Comedian & Funny Keynote Speaker

Hiring clean stand-up comedian Shaun Eli for your corporate or charity comedy event in the Springfield in your state would be a great idea and make you even more popular than you already are

 

About me

Hello Springfield and Springfield-adjacent. I’m a clean stand-up comedian. I started in September 2003 by taking a comedy class. The first time I got paid to perform was a little less than three months later. After that I continued to do a ton of free shows, like at open-mic nights in bars and new talent nights in comedy clubs, because that’s how you get better, by getting on stage as much as possible. When I started in comedy a common conversation between new comics was whether it’s better to be a good writer when you’re new, or a good performer, because nobody ever seems to start out good at both. Most new comics, frankly, start out terrible at both. And most of them quit pretty soon after starting but some of the rest eventually get good.

I started out with a lot of writing talent and no performing background or talent. I got on stage a lot and got better. I’m still a much better writer than performer but I do fine on stage. I was wise or maybe just lucky. Because a common mistake people make in both stand-up comedy and a lot of other endeavors is working on their strengths instead of their weaknesses. The good writers like writing so they spend a lot of time writing. The good performers like performing and spend all their time performing. And it should be the other way around- if you’re a good writer but mediocre performer you need to stop spending so much time writing and spend more time on stage.

I eventually realized that we were asking the wrong question. Because more important than whether you’re good at writing or good at performing was this: You need to get good, fast. Because if you improve rapidly people notice. If you’re slow to improve then the important people don’t notice. They just remember that you weren’t good. And that’s maybe one reason there are a lot of very funny people you’ve never heard of.

There are also a lot of reasonably funny people who are famous comedians. Stand-up comedy is more of a meritocracy than, say, music or acting, but there’s still a ton of luck involved. Don’t take this as sour grapes- I’d love to be a famous comedian but my life is great as-is. I get paid to make people laugh and there’s nothing better than that. I’m also the rare person you meet who has enough. I’d love a bigger house with a swimming pool, and a couple of other houses around the world, and my own airplane, but I’m not crying about not having that stuff.

 

My stand-up comedy

Most of my comedy’s about me or my family or things that have happened to me or things that I’ve done. If you’ve wronged me maybe you’re going to get bashed because you deserve it. Yeah, I’m talking about you, Google, and my former employer, and that parking ticket I didn’t deserve. There were no parking meters in front of the mayor’s house, and he had a driveway and a police driver. I had mom and dad’s old car. Which I eventually sold to a hitchhiker. It’s a story worth mentioning in my biography and people find it interesting but there’s not really anything funny about it. If I do find a way to make it funny I’m sure I’ll talk about it on stage at some point. But for now I have over two hours of stand-up material and that’s plenty for me.

If you want to see what I’m like on stage watch my stand-up comedy videos.

 

Funny Keynote Speaker

I can be either a live funny keynote speaker or a funny virtual keynote speaker. I’m not a motivational speaker. I won’t get people riled up but I will get them laughing for my entire time on stage. If I tell my story about fighting a parking ticket in Philadelphia I may get people excited to fight for justice. Okay, parking ticket justice. Hey, everybody’s got to start somewhere. If you’re looking for a funny keynote speaker I’m your guy. So if you want to call me a corporate keynote speaker that’s fine with me. As long as I get paid to make people laugh I’m happy. And you will be too.

Your audience will arrive full of enthusiasm for my keynote speech because I can provide you with video of me on stage that you can share with them in advance. They will depart happy and grateful and will be talking about the event for days if not weeks. I’m not just some humorous keynote speaker with a message. My message is just that I make people laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I don’t have to try to find jokes to fit into a serious talk. My only goal is to entertain.

I have hours of material so I should be able to link my keynote address to the theme of your event, company or industry. With a business background I may understand your industry quite well, especially if it’s banking or finance (I was a banker for 20 years before becoming a full-time stand-up comic), accounting (my father was an accountant and I have accounting jokes and stories), advertising or marketing (I majored in marketing at Wharton), insurance (I was an actuarial assistant for a couple of years), aviation (I’m a licensed, instrument-rated pilot) or boating (former rower and dragon-boat racer and I have a rather useless New York State boating license).

Also law. Though I’m not an attorney lots of people seem to think I’m one. I served for 17 months on a federal grand jury, I have at least one pro-lawyer joke and I am 1-0 representing myself in New York State Supreme Court. I sued a home improvement contractor and beat the heck out of a trial attorney using the two most powerful weapons in my arsenal: humor and sarcasm. I also wrote an article for the New Jersey Law Journal on attorneys who became comedians. And in addition to not being an attorney I’m also not from New Jersey.

I love answering audience questions after a keynote speech. It gives me the chance to be spontaneously funny, to learn about what audiences are curious about, to tell stories that are fun and funny but don’t necessarily fit into either a stand-up routine or keynote speech. Audiences love it too. It’s like a backstage pass.

One thing to note: I speak. I may pace a bit. I tell jokes and very funny stories. I don’t use Powerpoint. I don’t need slides. Just a good sound system with a hand-held microphone (not a mic stuck to a lectern). Proper lighting also helps.

Back before I was a comedian I was a banker and was chosen to be the keynote (closing) speaker at an international conference on risk management. The speakers before me were from more prestigious companies. They had a lot of data to present and used a lot of slides. This was a bit anxiety-inducing until I realized that their extensive, detailed data and slides were a drawback. It was too much detail and was both rote and confusing. I was the opposite- I presented a case that was both interesting and easy to understand. Nobody was distracted or confused during my talk. I was the one who drew the most questions because I held their interest. And yes, I was invited back to be the keynote speaker again the next year.

 

Booking me for shows in or near any of the Springfields in America

When I started writing this I was thinking of one Springfield in particular but it doesn’t really matter which one. You’ve already read almost the entire page so even without jokes I’ve held your interest. I promise this- I’m pretty sure that everybody who lives in any town in America called Springfield is sick of jokes about the Springfield in The Simpsons, so I won’t make jokes about that at your show. Even if the person who introduces me is named Homer or Bart or Marge or Maggie. Especially then, because those people are really sick of The Simpsons. 

To contact me email Shaun (at) Brain Champagne dot com, or call or text me at (914) it’s-funny (914) 487-3866. I’ll answer your questions and maybe make you laugh, depending on how the conversation goes, and my contract sometimes makes people laugh too. My sense of humor comes through in a lot of things I do. I also wrote a mystery novel that people said was funny even though I didn’t intend it to be. But then I haven’t sold it yet even though I think it’s a good story, and people have liked it. If you work in publishing let me know!