What you should know about corporate clean comedian Shaun Eli for your event in Providence or anywhere else in Rhode Island

 

A few random things about me

Jay Leno endorses Shaun Eli's comedy writing
I’m the one who isn’t Jay Leno.

I should’ve gone to Brown. I thought I didn’t want an artsy school- that I was a city kid and I should go to a big school in a city. I chose the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Or maybe they chose me. How well do you know yourself when you’re seventeen? I would’ve been better off at Brown or Wesleyan or Amherst. But I didn’t know it at the time. Penn was everybody worrying about grades and grad schools and corporations. I was expecting late nights talking about philosophy or politics and people with guitars. I didn’t have one, so that’s why I needed the other people. I don’t know if those other colleges were like that, but Penn surely wasn’t.

So I became one of them capitalists and ended up majoring in economics and marketing and working in finance. I even won an economics prize for economics forecasting. A bunch of well-educated economists with their fancy computer models and simulations. And me, guessing. It was predicting six economic statistics a year in advance. If you get two pretty close you probably finish in the top three. I’ll let you in on a secret- the way to win is to guess way off what you think. Because there will be outliers and if you hit one you’re golden. I guessed really high oil prices. I also guessed GDP within a fraction of a fraction of a percent, but that was also just luck.

So, working in finance. Went on a date with a woman I met on line. She told me I was funny and that I should do stand-up comedy. She’d just taken a comedy class and got me to sign up. Six years later I left finance and I’ve been telling jokes for money ever since. Also for free. If I have something funny to say, I say it. With friends. On the phone with customer service (that’s good because they can be a lot more helpful if you make them laugh). In line at CVS. For some reason I’m particularly funny at CVS. But most especially on stage, because I prepare for that. I don’t know what most other comics do but in addition to writing jokes I spend several hours a week just rehearsing. Saying the jokes while walking around my house. And sometimes I think of a tag or two (additional punchlines for a joke) just because I’m saying them out loud in the kitchen. I also sometimes think of jokes in my sleep. I can’t believe that happens because it’s completely effortless. I mean, sometimes I wake up and the pad next to my bed says something like “put the toast in the refrigerator” and I can’t figure out where there’s a joke there. But other times I wake up and stagger over to the computer and type out a whole new five minute set.

As a comedian I’ve been profiled in The New York Times and my group The Ivy League of Comedy in the Philadelphia Inquirer. My jokes have been published in all sorts of newspapers and magazines and been in the opening monologues of three late-night TV hosts. If you want more details on that read my biography. It’s not funny. But my stand-up is.

If you want to see what I’m like on stage watch my stand-up comedy videos.

 

About my shows

I think you’ve figured out by now that my shows are clean. I’m not saying I never curse on stage, but I do that only when it’s an appropriate venue like a comedy club. Not in a house of worship or at a corporate event. Not even at a country club. I get told sometimes “You could’ve pushed it and been dirtier, we wouldn’t care.” And my response is something like “There were a hundred people here. If I told a dirty joke ninety eight people would laugh and then five people would complain. And no, I’m not bad at math. I know there’s an overlap. Someone would laugh, because it’s funny, and then feel uncomfortable laughing at a dirty joke in what they see as an extension of their home. So they’d complain.” My jokes are fine the way they are. I do have one joke that works better with a curse word, it ends with “so I beat the &^*% out of him.” I’ve tried every word I can think of in place of the S word and nothing works as well. But I can live without the cursing. And anyway it’s a joke I haven’t told in years.

 

How to hire me

You know the saying: The comedy of a thousand jokes begins with the first step. Email Shaun (at) Brain Champagne dot com, or call or text me at (914) it’s-funny (914) 487-3866. Feel free to call or text or email with questions. Sometimes my answers are funny. But no promises. You’re not in line with me at CVS.

I should also mention that my shows are affordable. My house is paid-for and other than an occasional nice bottle of wine I don’t have expensive tastes. Oh, I do have some custom-made clothing because I’m not easy to fit. But now that I already have twelve sports jackets, way way too many shirts and a half-dozen suits I don’t need any more. I know I have 36 ties because when I worked in finance I had two 36 tie racks and once they were full I stopped buying ties. When I changed careers I put one rack away and gave away half my ties. I almost never wear a tie on stage- only if I’m asked to- but I’m usually in a dress shirt and sports jacket. I’ve found that audiences are less likely to cause trouble if the comedian is even a little dressed up. 

So I’m probably too inexpensive. I don’t think you’ll be complaining. But if you think my prices are too low feel free to pay me more. I’m sure I can find a use for additional funds, or I can always give it to charity. So let’s get started. You don’t have to hire me just because you call or email me. But you will want to.