Get some Brain Champagne®
Original Comedy Every Month, free
To join the Brain Champagne® mailing list and
receive Shaun Eli’s fabulastical monthly email—
original jokes and stories from the world of stand-up comedy,
please fill in your email address below.
(your email address stays private and you may unsubscribe at any time)
| “I do SO enjoy hearing from you anyway; but, w/COVID19 still hanging tough, you + your special talent + take on various things, you are absolutely the best medicine as we continue to hang on during these crazy times! Thanks SO much for sharing your best stuff.” -Becki Dafler Dayton, Ohio |
“Thank you for your monthly dose of humor. I enjoy opening your mail. If you are ever doing a show in South Africa let me know; I would love to see you live.” – Michael Leaper Software Developer South Africa |
Some sample comedy newsletters- click on the links below.
Shaun has been a professional comedian for 20 years and has 30 years of professional comedy-writing experience.
Some stories from Shaun Eli’s world of stand-up comedy
At a corporate show last week a drunk in the front would not stop interrupting. I did all I could to shut him up- jokes about his annual performance review coming up next week, announcing upcoming layoffs starting with the loudest, etc. Nothing stopped him (and his boss wasn’t there).
There are limits to how mean a comic can get with a disruptive audience member at a corporate show.
Finally I said “I’ll bet you twenty dollars you can’t shut up till I’m done” and I put a twenty dollar bill on the table right in front of him. He put his money down.
25 minutes later, he’d been silent for 25 minutes and I was done. I said Thank you. He said “Ha! I won!” and grabbed the cash.
I said “Best twenty dollars I ever spent!” and got offstage to great appreciation and applause.
On my way out the door 3 different guys stopped me, said “Good work” and slipped me money!
(I explained and gave back the last two)
The best twenty bucks I never spent.
After watching comic after comic deal with a loud & obnoxious drunk woman at the back of the room, when I took the stage and she interrupted I asked her for her name. It’s been my experience that once hecklers realize they’re no longer anonymous it’s psychologically tougher for them to continue.
So after Nancy interrupted I asked what she did for a living and she bragged that she had been a comic, that she used to perform all the time at Pips Comedy Club.
I said “That’s probably why they went out of business.”
She behaved for the rest of my set.
And no, I’m sure she wasn’t ever a pro comic, she probably performed on their amateur talent nights or at their open-mics.
At a show at a community center a woman pointed to the woman next to her and said “Ask her how old she is.” So I did. She said “102… in October.” I said “So you’re 101 and you’re still lying about your age? I think I met you on match.com.”
Performing at a private fundraiser I was able to accurately guess the wealth of individual donors by the size of the age difference between husband and wife.
JURY DUTY STORY (How To Get Out Of Jury Duty)
Prosecutor: Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Me (potential juror): If it’s been expunged I can say No, right?
Prosecutor: Did you have a felony that was expunged?
Me: I don’t think you’re allowed to ask me that.
Prosecutor (to judge): Dismiss for cause, judge?
I won’t be called again for six years.